For the 30-second headache that is the typical commercial -- welcome to Commercial Hater.

iPhone 4S/Siri: Zooey Deschanel

It's hard to believe it's been 8 months since I last posted. One way or another, I let my commercial hate subside within the deepest reaches of my antagonistic being. That being said, this Zooey/Siri interplay has lit a fuse within me. Like a Phoenix rising from the ashes, Commercial Hater is back to spew embers of vitriol. Cue the tube.



OK, I have an iPhone. It comes in handy for a lot of things, like grabbing a local restaurant's phone number or checking my important (and not so important) emails. But these queries are unconscionable. I'll outline what she probed Siri with, and why it's stupid.
Zooey: Is that rain?
Why it's stupid: It's raining.

Zooey: Let's get tomato soup delivered.
Why it's stupid: Nobody gets tomato soup delivered. 

Zooey: Remind me to clean up -- tomorrow.
Why it's stupid: If this is messy, I should be on Hoarders. I figured she'd have all those books on Kindle -- wait, iPad. And by "remind me to clean up", I'm sure she means not her.

Zooey: Play "Shake, Rattle and Roll"
Why it's stupid: Actually, there ain't nothing wrong with that. Notice how it gets pretty loud when she asks Siri to play the song. Does she have a wireless application that connects her iPhone music library to her speakers? Also, Is dancing by yourself as bad as talking to yourself? 


What I'd really like is if Siri had some guts and could retort without deference. Say what you want about Hal 9000, but it stuck to it's guns.





I'm sorry Zooey, this commercial can serve no purpose anymore. 

For the 30-second headache that is the typical commercial -- welcome to Commercial Hater.

It’s your classic case of good commercial/bad commercial here. So which do
you want first, the good, the bad or the funky?

OK, let’s get lame with it first.

State Farm: "Magic Jingle Casual Wednesdays”

I actually like the jingle concept as a lasting branding mechanism with legs, but I wish these goofuses weren’t privy to it.

Not really buying into this spot as a car-jacking likely destination, but whatever. They should have shot this in Trenton. And Bill Lumbergh only works if his workers look like they are old enough to have real jobs.

These guys wish for an intern… they look like the interns. And what I absolutely hate the most is when this goofball puffs chests with Lumbergh. Get back in there and finish your TPS reports. You can wear your jeans on Friday like everyone else.

Geico: "Sushi – Easier Way to Save”

Sorry squirt, you just missed them!

For someone that has just started trying sushi – and don’t tell me California rolls don’t count, because they tasted fishy – this commercial is fantastic.

The comedic timing is great, and hey – it’s a more thrilling end than the fishes’ eventual demise down the toilet. Captain Stewie and Little Miss Neptune, you will always be remembered. Bet ya didn’t catch their names the first time watching, did you? Anyway, it’s a quirky way to push saving money, albeit to a household that looks like it doesn’t have too much of a problem. Maybe that’s what makes it so funny… or maybe it’s Maybelline.

Research project – does Maybelline still exist?

And don’t worry, I haven’t forgotten the funky!

State Farm: "Jingle Hot Tub Remix”

State Farm, you’ve redeemed yourself! Now can I get a hot tub!?